August 10, 2008.
"The difference between life and the movies is that a script has to make sense - and life doesn't."
Joseph L. Mankiewicz
During some of your life's most trying moments, have you ever looked to the heavens above and asked why are these things happening to me? Have you ever questioned why you must endure hurt and heartache on occasion? Have you ever asked yourself, 'Why do I have to go through what I'm going through right now? Why are things so tough? Why is life so difficult?'
Chances are good that you have. Regardless of how special your life has been and how many blessings you have received, you have likely posed these questions at some time or the other. In spite of our best efforts, there are times when things do not turn out the way that we hoped or the way that we planned. And it's only natural to wonder why things turned out the way that they did.
We keep asking, keep looking, and keep hoping to find the 'why.' But try as we might, we'll never know all of the reasons; we'll never have all the answers. Like it or not, sometimes we're just not able to make sense of things that don't.
"Don't dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend you energies on moving forward toward finding the answer."
Now does that mean we should give up when things don't go our way? No, it doesn't. And should we just accept things as they are and not try to make them better? Of course we shouldn't. While things may not go our way on occasion, it doesn't mean we have to go with them.
Whenever things don't go according to plan, a decision must be made. Are we going to spend our time worrying about why these bad things happened - or are we going to get busy fixing whatever went wrong?
Wasting precious time wondering why things went awry isn't going to get us anywhere worth going. The only way to improve our lives is to get past the difficulties we encounter as quickly as possible and get on down the road.
"The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem."
It has been said over and over again that things happen for a reason. Yet oftentimes those 'reasons' are elusive, obscure, hard to pin down. And sometimes they're seemingly nowhere to be found, especially when we're talking about the not so good things that occur in our lives. We want the reasons why but are left empty handed; forced to accept that there are some things simply beyond our control.
Well, sort of.
Yes, there are bad things that happen in life; unpleasant moments that we have to deal with. No matter what we do, problems are going to pop up. No matter how hard we try, difficulties are sure to arise. In spite of our best efforts, bad things are just going to happen. And yes, some are truly out of our control. That's just the way it is. But what we do after these problems surface is totally within our control.
We can handle our problems - or allow them to handle us.
"I would rather think of life as a good book. The further you get into it, the more it begins to come together and make sense."
Harold S. Kushner
When life tosses you a difficult challenge, a make or break moment that defines what you're all about, you need to rise to the challenge. Rather than back away from the trying times you face, you need to be bigger than the moment.
Bigger, stronger, tougher than whatever you face, whatever you encounter.
But where can you find the strength, the fortitude, the internal 'oomph' to handle life's most difficult times? You've got to look within, digging deep down into your heart and soul. There you'll find the courage to answer the call.
You don't always need to know 'why' bad things happen; just what you're going to do about them. And what you're going to do right now. Instead of looking for reasons why things went wrong, why not look for the answers to make things right? When you focus your attention and energy on resolutions rather than the problems, you'll find a way around, over or through any problem placed in your path.
And maybe, just maybe, you'll start making a little sense of those things that don't.
The Bottom Line: Don't worry about what's gone wrong, focus on making things right.
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